Is closure really necessary or is it a Pick Me’s way of trying to convince a man to stay? Many women feel closure is a requirement to move on, but one can argue that it actually holds you back. There have been several times where I’ve met up with an old flame to officially close a chapter, but instead opened my legs and my heart to a man that had no permanent place for me in his life. Below we’ll discuss the pros and cons of the two-headed monster we call closure.

Properly ending a relationship can have many benefits. First, it allows one to take back the control of their heart. Sometimes when we let things linger, we can become a puppet allowing our ex to control the strings. This is something we want to avoid at all costs. Also, it’s imperative to begin a new relationship with a clean slate. The new boo should not be responsible for dealing with the ghosts of ex-boyfriend’s past. So, closure can aid in cleaning up toxic residue in order to move into the next relationship with ease. Lastly, if done properly, closure can provide valuable lessons. It can reveal the flaws of both you and your partner, allowing you to make the proper adjustments. Some flaws may be more severe than others and require counseling, but at least you are now aware and can do the work to make things better.

Seek Closure if…

• You have the ability to remove your emotions and have a logical conversation.
• You’re actually going to move on after the conversation, and not just hang around hoping he’ll take you back.
• It’s a necessary part of your grieving process.

Some women who set out on a journey to get closure often end up giving their tired Dusty a second chance. While forgiveness is a principle that should be practiced often, doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. It’s also just plain stupid. Trust me, I know because I’ve been there. Many times we go back to men hoping that they have changed, yet the reasons we left are still there. Toxic behavior should not be welcomed nor rewarded. Also, when you’re really done with someone, or something for that matter, you should no longer give energy to it. Why should you waste another second of your time on something that should no longer be of any value to you. Finally, Steve Harvey said it best, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” Ladies don’t chase men and most men don’t feel the need to provide closure when they are ready to go. They just keep it moving, so we should keep that same energy.

Just Leave if…

• You no longer wish to have any communication with you ex.
• You have the tendency to return to toxic relationship.
• You allow staying in your comfort zone to be one of the determining factors when faced with making a decision.

As always, you can take my advice or you can throw it in the trash, but don’t come running to me when your journey to closure leads to Open Legs Street, and you end up on the corner of In Your Feelings Circle and This Is Some BS Avenue.